RANDOM THOUGHTS

Hope

2011-05-07T04:34:00.000-07:00

Ever thought, what is that one thing that keeps you going?

HOPE is the answer. Hope for a better job, life, future, etc. For Shakespeare, hope is the medicine of the miserable, for some a species of happiness, for some grief's best music, for some life is meaningless without hope and for some like a friend of mine hope is a BITCH!

So is hope a bitch or life does not make sense without hope? Being a combination of a pessimist and an optimist (I am still wondering to which school I belong), I would not agree to both the arguments. It is not that life does not make sense without hope, because hope itself is devoid of any logic. It is basically your unfulfilled want, however impractical it may sound. People might think hope is a bitch as in the case of this friend cause they think they have been alluded by hope. But come to think of it does hope abandon you or you abandon hope? I think its more of the later than of the former. They stop believing in hope and hence think it is deceitful.

Though hope lacks logic, it is the single thing that keeps us going. Think of a guy who was not as blessed as you and me are and has to study under street lights. Why does he do that? He hopes to change his current situation. For a mother, her children are a ray of hope. They bring glory to her. They achieve what she could not and that is how she chooses to devote her life for them. I would say hope is a passage to happiness. And to be happy, you have to believe you will be happy and its hope that makes you believe you can be happy. So hope keeps you going. You have to believe some day tables will turn and your efforts will bear fruit. After all success comes to them who are patient and are ofcourse are hopeful of success!

Women's Day

2011-03-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

I somehow don't appreciate the idea of having a separate day as 'Women's Day'. Everyday is a woman's day. Think of your mother, your sister, your daughter. Their love is unconditional and not conditional as in the case of a wife, as many husbands would want to think.

Having said that, I felt nice when all the ladies in the institute got flowers from the faculty. I would never forget what the prof told me, 'Make your mother proud of you!' Point noted Sir! My actions, inactions, thoughts would be such that she would always hold her head high in pride.

Happy Women's Day, Aaee!

Ainwahi...

2011-03-02T10:33:00.000-08:00

I know I do this 10 times a year.. I start blogging. Then I stop blogging... then i start 'afresh'... then the start is aborted by some assignment.

I get it. I get it. I need to show 'some character.' But what do I do of those overflowing assignments? Every professor thinks we just have only his subject to study! Coming to showing some character, I have been completing my assignments on time and it irritates me if some sub-standard work comes to the table. Why cant people act more responsibly, is what I always wonder. However, who am I to judge? Is it people's fault that I am very very serious and possessive about the work I do? Is it their fault, that they tend to find a leeway always? NO! Its my fault! I dont understand them.

I know I know, my tolerance levels are coming down.

Sorry bloggie to use you as punching bag! I will not say I ll promise to come back soon, coz from your past experiences I have never been able to keep my promises. I reiterate I need to show 'some character'.

PS: I take this golden opportunity to thank those friends who are the victims of my incessant rants.

Blah!

2010-11-08T10:40:00.000-08:00

Nor do I like staying at home, nor do I like going to the institute! Kya hoga mera!

Lets start afresh!

2010-11-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Alright! This is an abrupt start.

I don't know why I stopped blogging! Probably I wasn't able to come up with something new... Lack of Creativity, as they say! Or was I not thinking enough or even if I was, I wasn't courageous enough to pen them down.

So here am I starting from scratch all over again. A lot has changed in this one year. I have up finally after a lot of deliberation taken up a full time MBA course. IIMs? Nah! Just a dream now, which did not materialize. Reasons? I can give a lot of them if you like, but I am admitting I was lazy and I repent taking things lightly. Anyway, all things said and done, MBA is a good value addition, but should be done and used wisely. More on that later.

New life, new beginning and the first semester will end in another 4-5 weeks. The journey has been good so far, but there is a striking change in me. For the first time in my life I am coming across as a person who is reserved, who is too engrossed in herself, blah! blah! Basically in a nut shell 'an introvert'. Is this what change did to me? Nah! I guess I chose it that way. Its good to be a little serious about life.

I perhaps don't know where this new life per se will lead me because my decision was more of instinctive than conscious. I am sure of one thing though! I ll make something constructive out of it and make this life count!

This shall too pass away...

2009-08-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

What do you do when your world, which was perfect a while ago comes down crashing like a pack of cards? You start getting a feeling,' This is the end of me. I can't go any further. I have given up.' You get up from sleep with a start, when you see a dark tunnel with no light at the end of it. Life is so fickle. It tricks you, when you have least expected it.

Let me tell you a story.

Once a Monarch called upon his wisemen and asked them, 'Is there any Mantra or suggestion, which works in joy and sorrow, in defeat and victory alike? All the wisemen were confused, except for an old man who gave the Monarch a piece of folded paper with a condition that it must be opened only in the time extreme danger i.e. when the King feels he has ran out of solutions. The Monarch puts the paper under his daimond ring. Days pass and the neigbouring Kingdom attacks and the King loses and runs for his life all alone. Suddenly he finds himself at the end of the road. With a deep valley ahead and the sound of the horses approaching, he was sure that his end had dawned. The Monarch becomes restless. Then he remembers the folded paper given to him by the old man. He opens it and reads. The paper bears,'THIS DAY SHALL TOO PASS AWAY.' He reads it again and again. He realises that a few days ago he enjoyed all the pleasures of the world. And today he has nothing with him. Just like the days of luxuries the day of danger will pass away too. A calm comes to his face. After a few minutes, the noise of the horses receeds. He realises they have moved into some other part. The brave Monarch reorganises his army, fights back and reconquers his Kingdom.

The King did not give up. He conquered the darkest period of his life because he believed in himself. Had he jumped off the cliff he would have never got his Kingdom back. So my friend when faced with such a situation, the key lies in picking up the broken pieces and starting afresh with whatever little you have got. You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it and enjoy the present moment- as this shall too pass away. Ensure that every change whether good or bad leaves you stronger.

Whatever may be the obstacles in your life, however big, medium, small they may be, they will pass one day and you will come out more confident, mature and shinning.

Why???

2009-08-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

Why are people selfish?
Why should you not expect the other person to be a little responsible, when you are yourself responsible?
Why can't things go as planned?
Why do things go wrong, just when you thought they were set right?
Why can't a dependent voice his/her views?
Why is one seen in bad light if he/she puts his/her foot down for the right reasons?
Why is every stage of your life governed by dirty politics?
Why do people small talk and sweet talk?
Why is it false to be true?
Why does reasoning differ from person to person?
Why is truth so subjective?
Why doesn't a perfect code of right and wrong exists?
Why one has to die to attain peace for eternity?
Why is trust so fickle?

Questions after Questions! Looks like I ll never find the answers.
Yet, that does not stop my pursuit of happiness. Rather I am happy I am true to my conscience. This Birthday, I make 3 promises to myself.
Come what may, my smile will never fade.
I ll never give up.
I ll love myself more than ever.

Friday!

2009-08-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

The week begins and I start waiting for Fridays. On Friday evenings there is this blissful feeling of happiness and relief. Similarly on Sunday evenings I experience a strange kind of sadness. Monday mornings are horrible and cranky. Tuesdays are just plain and fine. On Wednesdays the excitement starts piling up as 2 wickets are already down and there are just 2 more to go. Thursdays go in anticipation of Fridays. And when Fridays come, the formals are dumped into the closet and a comfortable tee and a pair of jeans sneak out, already bringing on the weekend. Saturdays are spent in sleeping, browsing the net, watching TV, etc. Sundays creep in with the dreary feeling of Mondays and the wait for the next Friday begins all over again. Week after week the same cycle! I bet its the same everywhere. Life has become a routine, but it is not really monotonous. Everyday brings in new challenges along with a new a ray of hope, suggesting life is going to be better going forward. Life has changed and it is for the good. And Fridays are always 'GOOD'.

Magic that drives me crazy...

2009-07-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

A new music phone and I spend the entire weekend loading songs it. Some new ones and some old ones. Wow! I love the romantic songs by rafi and kishore

Ehsaan tera hoga mujh par, mujhe tumse mohabbat ho gayi hai...

Dil ka bhawar kare pukar, pyaar ka raag suno re...

Chookar mere mann ko, kiya tumne kya ishara...

Tumne mujhe dekha...

Aa chal ke tujhe, main leke chalu, ek aise gagan ke tale...

Aise toh na dekho, ke humko nasha ho jaye...

Nasha hi yeh...I am feeling stupidly romantic and the weather in Mumbai is such that it is driving me all the more crazy. Dunno for whom I am humming these songs!

A phase comes to an end...

2009-06-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

I became a graduate this week and that too with respectable marks. Some people were surprised, some were expecting me to do well. I feel nothing about things coming to an end. May be because my attention has been diverted by something else or may be I have been hyper-ventilating about results so much that now, when they have come, I feel nothing. Not that I am a stone, but we have to grow up. We have to leave things behind to make space for new ones. Nevertheless, I ll still do my post-grads from Podar. I don't know how much college I am going to attend for that. Lol! I talk as if I have attended college regularly in the last 5 years. The kiddy phase of my life has come to an end. There are lot of new things that have come into existence in the past few days. Some I need to change and those I cannot change I need to accept them the way they are. As some say, 'When you can't fight things, just accept them. Things will be easier.' And this statement is always proven right, no matter what the circumstances are.

I am reminded of a little prayer now.

Oh God, please give me enough strength to change things I can change and enough courage to accept things I cannot change.

Amen

Life is all about looking for opportunities in obstacles.

Campus to Corporate

2009-06-14T04:48:00.000-07:00

When we all apply for jobs, we think we will just have to execute whatever we have learnt so far. If that is what you think, then you are making a big big mistake. Trust me you have to be open to many new things. You will be inundated with lot of new things. Your ability to grasp and retain will be at test. You should be ready to learn, unlearn and then relearn. When you were in college, you could just bunk the following day if you have had a heavy day. But here you just can't. You look forward for the weekend. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday go in thinking about the last weekend and Thursday, Friday go in planning the next.(ofcourse all I did this weekend was sleep) I was told by a senior that your first month in any organisation is your honeymooning period. You learn new things, come to know new people, etc. But what if your honeymoon makes you battle with a bad stomach? Your entire constitution goes for a toss? You don't want it, right? But that is not the case here. You learn to endure, face and fight all the obstacles. Having said that, I have also heard people go an extra mile forward to make you feel comfortable. People take care of your needs. Well, I think I should agree here, I have easily lost 2-3 kilos. They have taken enough care to see that I lose weight and that too without joining a gym! Now that is cost cutting!

Narcissism

2009-05-28T10:47:00.000-07:00

Posted By Sharvari on 28/05/2009

The word ‘narcissism’ in common usage is associated with people who indulge in too much of self praise. A narcissistic man is a person whose conversation starts with his display of vanity and ends with his self-centered ‘one-way listener not interested’ communication. The word has its origination in a Greek myth of Narcissus. According to the myth a young Greek called Narcissus rejected the desperate advances of the nymph Echo, for which he was punished to be doomed to fall in love with his own reflection. Unable to consummate his love he pined away and turned into flower which was named after him. The dictionary meaning of narcissism is as follows:

Nar-cis-sism

-a noun

(1) Inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

(2) Psychoanalysis: erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

As the definition suggests it is a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development i.e. the primary narcissism according to Sigmund Freud. According to Freud, a child is born with his own sense of himself or ego so to say. Ego develops through infancy and childhood and the excessive of it can be controlled by proper interventions by parents, teachers, elders, peers, etc. Due to which a person can develop an ideal ego and act normal. It is secondary narcissism that causes personality disorders or more specifically called as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is caused when a person withdraws himself with objects outside himself. More on Freud’s theory, here.

Coming back to people being narcissistic. A minute amount of self-praise is necessary to convince oneself of one’s self worth. However the excess of it could be termed as narcissism. Being self-worthy, self-confident is one thing and being narcissistic is the other. A narcissistic person lacks empathy, tries to assert superiority depending upon his/her value system, over-reacts to criticism by becoming angry or humiliated, might also humiliate others in the process of exaggerating his/her importance, seeks attention and positive reinforcement from others, displays arrogant, haughty and proud behaviour, uses denial mechanism to downplay his/her own inadequacies, uses rational mechanism to justify self-centered behaviour, etc. A person possessing all or most of these signs is clinically ill.

There is a thin line between self worth and narcissism. You may not know when you will become too self-worthy to be termed as narcissistic. You should sit and analyze your own behaviour and also the behaviour of the people around you. You should ignore a person completely if he fails to see anything outside himself and tries to convert you to his/her opinion. You may end up degrading yourself in his/her company.

P.S: R, I know u wanted to co-author this blog with me for a particular reason. But I could not wait for your net connection to be fixed. So I wrote it on my own. Feel free to make any corrections, you would want to make. ;-)

P.P.S: All personality traits mentioned in the blog are of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and unintentional. :-)

Fan-Tash-Tic

2009-05-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

Posted by Sharvari on 20/5/2009

I had the best afternoon since ages. Rather than just napping and lazing around we did something more productive. By 'we' I mean my friend hamsa and I... and by 'productive' I mean something really crazy!!!

Speechless...

2009-05-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

Posted by Sharvari on 5/5/2009

What do you do when you are left speechless by something? At times you just sound differently because you are at a loss of words. There is so much to say, dunno how to start. No words to describe something.... ITZZZ.... ITZZZ.... ITZZZ just.....

Powerless Power

2009-04-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

Posted by Sharvari on 28/04/2009

You have the power in your hands-Your vote

I wonder if we really do? How can u make your vote count, if all the candidates contesting are not competent? By non-competency I mean... some are criminals, some are uneducated and some are both. Will you be able to live with yourself if you vote for a criminal? If your answer is yes, then suppose in the future you become a victim of any such criminal activities, can you firmly ask for justice? What right have you got to claim justice, when you yourself have fostered such activities by voting in a criminal. If you vote for an uneducated, what example are u setting for the world? Picture this. India- one of the BRIC countries has a PM who is not even matric pass. What a shame! If the representative of your country is uneducated, what attitude will the outside world will have towards you. I am not saying that illiterate people cannot make good leaders. Sure they can. People mob politicians, whenever they are on a visit. But is leadership defined by the number of people you can pull to your rallies? Some might say they will exercise Rule 49-O of the Indian constitution, which empowers the elector to cast a no-vote. A hoax has been circulating which claims that if the '49-O' votes more than those of the winning candidate, then that poll will be canceled and will have to be re-polled. Furthermore, it claims that the contestants will be banned and they cannot contest the re-polling for their life time. (courtesy: wikipedia). Lack of proper voter turnout is also one of the major issues that concerns the true and fair elections. Majority of the casted votes are either of the people in the rural areas or of slum dwellers. These people again due to lack of education function by hearts and not by their minds. For eg:- If some fatass(sorry for the word) goes and distributes cash in Dharavi, he/she is upheld as their leader and it is obvious that he is going to win. The root of the problem lies in the mindset of the educated middle class. Here is an example how most of the non-voters think.... As it is this region is the stronghold of some XYZ party. It is going to win whether I vote or not. My vote will not make a difference. And those who vote think.... This XYZ party is strong here. Even if I vote for a clean candidate from an ABC party, he is not going to win. I would rather vote for XYZ than let my vote go waste. Can we move forward with this mindset? If you believe in a certain candidate is it not your duty to vote for him and assure him victory? Even if a thousand think like this it will make a huge difference. Even if a clean candidate loses, he would be encouraged by a thousand votes and contest more rigorously next time. It is not important, whether the candidate you vote for wins or loses. It is important that you cast your vote for the right person. I hope better sense prevails this election and power does not prove powerless anymore!

Doing away...

2009-04-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Posted by Sharvari on 14/4/2009

In one of my last posts I had mentioned how I hoard up things. I kept my promise and I emptied my cupboard for my brother. Each paper, each book I removed had some or the other memory attached to it. While I did so, I pondered how my journey since 2003 had been. How fast time had flied! And now how life has come a full circle for me. SSC-results- admissions- HSC-results- admissions-FY-SY-TY. I finished mine a few weeks ago. My brother is starting his. It felt a little sad to do away with things which I had preserved all these years. It was a process of flushing unpleasant memories and retaining the pleasant ones. I disposed off a newspaper which I had hoarded for atleast an year and a half for a particular reason. I did not even look at it twice. Things become so different when emotions change! I quietly arranged my brother's books in my cupboard and shifted mine outside. The process pinched a bit. Nevertheless, I had to give my brother his own space or rather had to convert my space into his. He needs it.

Going pink in the face!

2009-04-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

Posted by Sharvari on 4/4/2009

Now that the ordeal of TY is over, I can do things which I had stopped doing for the past few months. R had been raving too much about a book. I thought I should give it a try. Considering it was a love story I had a few reservations. Rational me does not read love stories. But anyway i gave in and took up reading Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. I was warned by R to guard my facial expressions while reading it. He was right. The books makes you go pink in the face. Never read it in front of your parents, if you dont have any control over your facial expressions. Though I did not blush while my mother was around, I was too engrossed in the book that I did not do anything else but read. Out of curiosity my mom asked,' What are u reading? A love story?' I said, 'Yeah, mum. It is about a vampire falling in love with a human girl.' She quite naively asked me what a vampire was. I told her the meaning in a very crude language, which made her shriek in disgust. Lol! Coming back to the book, Edward is perfect boyfriend material. He is perfect in almost everything. I wonder if guys can actually be so good. No wonder he is a vampire!

PS: The feeling of TY coming to an end is mixed. On one hand I am relieved its all over, on the other hand I am sad that college has finally come to an end.

Khandeparkar is same as Khandeshwar

2009-03-08T06:18:00.000-07:00

Posted by Sharvari on 8/3/2009

Grrr!
The revised electoral list is out. Guess what my name reads ' Sharvari Ulhas Khandeshwar'! That's utterly ridiculous!
This is addressed to the babus...
I can understand if you misplace an 'a' or an 'e', but whole two syllables of my surname? If my handwriting is so illegible, can't you read what is printed on the copy of my passport. Oh yeah! The details on the passport are in English. Ummm, you can't read English, I assume. But the ration card has the details in marathi. Don't tell me you can't even read your own mother tongue! You fight with the government to revise your pay for this kind of work? Just change people's identity for no concrete reason at all? Do you realise what you have done? You have changed my identity as a citizen of this country. Nothing is more apalling than this. Shame on You! Inspite of all this you still have the guts to say, that I ll be able to vote provided I take a letter with me. Sorry state of affairs! Hail bureaucracy! Hail Babudom!

PS: My father teased me over this, till he was told the fiasco changes my father altogether. Guess who told him that? (moi)

Books, Books all over!

2009-01-27T03:08:00.000-08:00

Posted by Sharvari on 27/01/2009

With the university exams coming up in less than 2 months most of us have started(atleast pretended to have) studying. And that is how my room is full of books everywhere. Books on the table, books on the bed, books on the chair, books at the window. I have just one specific problem. I can't stick to one damn subject while studying and that is one of the reasons why I can't boast of having completed atleast one subject. The other ofcourse is my laziness. My mother has threatened to throw all my things out if I don't keep them in order. As it is my brother has been compelled to use one of the cabinets of the living room side-piece because the lady herself(that's me) occupies the study table cabinet. I know I m mean. But I can't help it. I have variety of study material stuffed inside the cabinet. Be it my TY books or my German course books. I also have a dirty habit of stocking my old stuff. That would explain the reason behind me still holding on to the MBA entrance material. Though I moved it out of the study table cabinet and put it on one of the upper shelf cupboards. The upper shelf cupboard also contains some of my school books which my mother has kept for my brother's reference(You know all those essay books, sanskrit books, etc). It also contains my FY and SY stuff. My mother does not understand the reason behind me not using them and still clinging on to them. What if I forget what I did in FY, SY and something similar crops up in TY. Then they will always come handy, wouldn't they? I know I have a hoarding syndrome, but there are so many memories attached to such things. Well I am not all that mean, I have promised my brother the study table cabinet after my TY.

PS: I forgot to mention. I have hoarded up all the editions of reader's digest since 2005 and I keep removing 2-3 per week to re-read. lol!

Love U darling!

2009-01-23T04:55:00.000-08:00

Posted by Sharvari on 23/01/2009

It has been 15 years now, since I was blessed with a darling sibling. I suddenly grew up and we had a small baby at our place. In his early days he was a pee-potty machine, spoiling every little piece of cloth he could, but he was the cutest thing ever.
As he grew up the bond between us became stronger and stronger. It is not that we don't fight. But the care and love for another outwieghs the fights.(Touchwood!) As my mother puts it,' They may fight amongst themselves, but against the world they are one.'

"Sweetu, I don't know what I would have done without you. You taught me to share, you taught me to sacrifice and more than that you taught me to love. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Just be the way you are-SWEET AND ADORABLE. Muaah!!!"

Oh-BA-MA

2009-01-21T22:51:00.000-08:00

Posted by Sharvari on 21/01/2009

Wow! What a man! A great son, a great husband, a great father and now a great(I m assuming) president. A lot has been spoken about him and people know a lot about him. I ll just say what i liked about the man. He is a gentleman in all true sense of terms. What amazing guts he has got! With that just a bit of unusual warmth. I say unusual, because it does not come so naturally to strong-headed people like him. In some parts of his book, 'The Audacity of Hope' he talks about his wife Michelle. He says had his wife contested against him, he would have lost hands down to her. he says and I quote, 'Some people who have heard my wife speak at times come up to me and say 'Obama, we think the world of you, but your wife-WOW!' Who would talk about his wife like that? They have one simple but amazing love story. I was just overwhelmed by the way they were together yesterday. It was not a formal arm-in-arm but a very informal hand-in hand! That speaks volumes about their relationship. I am no entity to comment on his personal life. But just his simplicity appeals to me. I wish him all the best and may he bring about the change he wants to bring about.

PS: I told my Mom,'Ma, get me a man like that and I ll get married the next day!'

Mesmerized

2009-01-14T04:38:00.000-08:00

Although I don't watch a lot of TV, one programme is a must watch. I am talking about Idea Sa re Ga Ma Pa which is aired on zee marathi every monday and tuesday at 9:30pm(Repeat telecast tues,wed 3:00pm)
I will not write more... Just posting a few videos to give you an idea.
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=kjRNpik7Oag
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=ygYH_KXr7Vs
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=RFdtYetM-kM
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=8U7ZBoGgkQ0
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=YMoP5qzLOa4
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=igTcXqWSQ7g
And if you are not left mesmerized by these videos, stop calling yourself a music fan!

A weekend that wasn't....

2009-01-11T03:21:00.000-08:00

The result season has begun...
The CAT result was shocking! My score according to the ans key put up by them was different and according to the score card was different. Paagulguy went amok with such problems. People with lower percentiles have got calls and someone with 98.9 did not get a single call. As some might put it- a weird pattern of results. Well coming back to my score...Whatever it was I would not have made it to the IIMs with it. So there is no point in discussing it. It is like losing a battle which was fiercely fought. Sad!!! But that is how life is! All in all the experience was fantastic! Just one competitive exam teaches you what the education system could not teach you for years. I will admit I felt a bit bad, but the roof did not come crashing down.
SNAP result was good. But I am not applying. Some friends have called me choosy, egoistic, crazy and what not. Some said that on my face(which I appreciate) and some did that behind my back(grrr!). I just have one question. When I have the choice, why should I not exercise it? And given the current scenario, isn't it safe to do your MBA from the institutes which are at the apex of the triangle? I know I am sounding kolhyala draksha ambat(Grapes are sour for the fox who could not reach them) types, but somehow I feel I will do well if I take up the job. If I do a MBA 2-3 years later I stand to gain more. And it is JPM for God's sake! It will look great on my CV! I am looking forward to May now.
While writing all this I m listening to, 'Yeh honsla kaise jhuke, yeh arzoo kaise ruke, manjil mushkil toh kya, dhundla sahil toh kya, tanha yeh dil toh kya. Raah pe kaate bikhre agar, uspe toh phir bhi chalna hi hai, shyam chupale suraj magar, raatko ek din dhalna hi hai, rut ye tal jaayegi, himmat rang laayegi, subah phir aayegi...."

PS: Even the symbiosis results were not great for some. People are calling it names and even going to the extent of saying that the seats are sold! lol!!! lol!!! and yeah the journey to the IIMs has not been aborted, it continues. It is only postponed! :)

A look down the memory lane...

2009-01-08T03:00:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is a big day! It is going to decide my future course of action. Not only for me but also for the other 274999 MBA aspirants, who took CAT-2008. CAT is suppose to be the 'baap' of all MBA entrances. If you clear this you stand a chance to get into the most coveted B-Schools of India. Before talking about what happened after CAT, let me talk about what happened before and on the day of THE CAT.

Before CAT:-
I was juggling quite a lot of things with CAT. College and TY classes sucked up maximum of my time and energy, leaving me with hardly an hour or so to prepare. First few mock-tests were pretty good. And then the downfall began! I went down till 40 percentile, scaled up slowly to reach 90-95 again. Trust me I dreaded Sundays; more than that the entire jig of analyzing the paper to see where I went wrong. During this leg of my preparation I found the papers of other institutes easy and the paper of my institute biased( One advice to all MBA aspirants, please think twice before choosing an institute... they ain't of any help. I would suggest you take up these books written by Arun Sharma and start preparing yourself. There are even private tutors for those who are weak in quants and VA. After that you can always join the test series of the institute which has wider coverage as compared to the others.) Coming back to what I did. I just took up all the papers from other institutes and started solving. They somewhat boosted my confidence and I manage to remain calm for the 'D' day.

On the day of CAT:- (I was a celebrity for a day!)
Surprisingly this time I could sleep soundly before the paper. I woke up early at 5:30. My centre was IES(Bandra). Since it was far dad decided to drop and pick me up from the centre.(He even went and saw my centre and the route leading towards it well in advance... How sweet of him!) We started at 7:00am in the morning. I enjoyed the ride to centre. The cool breeze and the songs on the radio helped to calm my turbulent mind. We reached at 8:00- a nice hour and a half before the reporting time. I had idilis from the tiffin packed by my mother. My every need was taken care of. As I mentioned in the title I was a celebrity for a day. Finally we were let inside the centre at 9:30. They gave us the paper at 10:15. 90 questions! As I had expected... But there was something more to it... A particular section had 40 questions and others 25 each. As usual you cannot predict anything with the CAT! I just could not help but giggle! Just to avoid any tension I checked the OMR to see whether I had filled in d details carefully. The bell rang! I had to now change my strategy. I decided to give DI 25 mins, quants 35 mins , 45-50 mins to VA and keep rest of the time as a buffer. DI was tough. I was disheartened as it was my strongest section. Nothing could be done now. In 25 mins I could crack one caselet of 4 questions. I moved to quants and I did around 9 questions there. After that came VA. I solved the grammar and vocabulary part first and then went on to the passages. I attempted in all 18 questions there. I was careful and did not want to be reckless like I was in the mocks. I again went to DI cracked a caselet or two and the time got over. After the paper I thought I had attempted less! I checked the answers in the evening. Quant and DI clear, VA doubtful... I cried like a baby! And my brother, such a smartass, said,"If you aim for the sky this will keep on happening!" He got a big scolding from mom for the uncalled oneliner.

After CAT:-
Next few days, I was almost mourning! I fell sick. First it was heavy cough and cold and then a tummy upset, that kept me on curd rice for a week! I was trying to gear for the other entrances but was not in a mood. Then came the Placement week! And guess what I was picked up on the first day itself by JP Morgan(excerpts from the interview later). I was (rather I still am) on cloud nine. I now had a back-up in place. But this back-up turned out to be a turning point. My parents, my cousin and my uncle were of the opinion I take up the job. I should leave it only if I get into the IIMs( which seems distant as of now). I would be a fool to leave JPM for symbiosis or narsee monjee. And after that every sunday became a picnic for me! And those entrances also went on well, coz I was pretty much relaxed. I went to nerul one sunday for TISS, next sunday I was in Goregoan for SNAP, next I was in dadar for NMAT; but my best outing was the last one- for XAT to Don-Bosco. The atmosphere there was wonderful with a beautiful church and a big playground. I enjoyed watching tiny tots play football. I met a lot of friends there. While coming back I had S & P for company. I had a gala time with them in the train!(Oops I forgot to mention, for the XAT essay I fell short of paper...lol!). As someone has said, 'Big Changes in our lives are more or less a second chance.' This is exactly what JPM has done to me. It has given me a second chance to find myself!

Now the reckoning day!
Tomorrow I ll come to know how I have faired at CAT. My friends call me choosy. In their opinion I m leaving good institutes for a job. But it is JPM. It will do wonders to my CV! Lets see if the quest for IIMs continues or it is postponed.

A youth's dilemma...

2008-12-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

The youth, they say is the only hope this country has now. Well, they may be right. But I am not assured. What I saw today was absolute indifference. Except for a few, not all people were really affected by what happened in Mumbai. I know there are spoilsports everywhere. But I can't help but get disheartened by it. The biggest tragedy of a tragedy is what happens after the tragedy. People talk for a while and then carry on with their lives. The effect fizzes off. Sadly enough, that is our mentality. When it happens to me it is a tragedy, when it happens to others it is just an incident? People blame the politicians, the intelligence, the system(even I did); but what after that? We move on... Why? Why can't we keep that fire burning within us? Had something gone wrong with our kith and kin, wouldn't we be affected? Spare a thought for the families of those innocent people who have lost their lives. Their world has come crashing down. They are sad, destroyed, dejected...
I am furious. I am not angry with the terrorists. Their families got paid for what they did. They were loyal to their employers. I am angry due to the inaction. I am angry because it is we the people who always bear the brunt. Is just being angry enough? Can't we do something? Some might say, yes we can... We can VOTE... VOTE for whom? Frankly for me voting has turned out to be choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. Before voting one has to think, who will be less worse. Which party will cause the minimal damage? That is the sorry state of affairs for you! Having said all this, I still have a burning desire to do something. But how? That is my question.

My city bleeds........

2008-11-27T23:00:00.000-08:00

My Mumbai, my city bled and it continues to bleed. My heart goes out to the hostages and the bereaved families of those who have lost their lives. They say Mumbai will bounce back. What you thought us to be some ball, that once we are banged hard on the floor, we will bounce back? Nothing remains of the spirit of Mumbai. What spirit are u talking about? How many more people will have to lay down their lives to test this spirit? If u see people getting back to work, it is merely their resignation to their fate.
On late wednesday evening, the CM says the situation is serious. Oh really? Happy realisation! After that the CM was not seen anywhere! The PM comes on your television screens after 18 hrs from the time when the tragedy struck to give the most lethargic nation's address. Oh sorry it is a tragedy for these politicians, for us it is a massacre! The political parties are not playing the blame game to score brownie points over one another. Instead it seems that they are united. Oh wait till everything cools down and they will be back to what they do the best-blame each other.
I feel the people of Mumbai owe an apology from the govt for a serious intelligence failure. Please say,'We have failed and we have failed bigtime! Please throw us out. We are a bunch of useless and good for nothing creatures.' The real heroes have been the the army, navy, NSG commandos, firemen and our police force who not caring for their own lives tried to secure some. A SALUTE TO YOU!

BANG BANG!

2008-11-05T04:27:00.000-08:00

Here I m blogging after a gap of almost 2 months....
Well this blog is all about the crap going on in my head at this moment... So if u don't wanna read it, you could navigate to a better website. No issues there!
1. Barack Obama won the US presidential elections... Yipiee. While the world is rejoicing, analysts have predicted a mixed bag of effects for India. The new Prez might press for a non-proliferation treaty with India. He may also give tax benefits to the companies who don't outsource and impose more tax on those who do, which in turn might hamper the job market in India. Though the 'No outsourcing' thing is still a distant priority for him, the non-proliferation treaty still remains a concern. But looking at the brighter side, the world has voted for a change. It is not only a change from red to blue but also a change from rage to peace. Obama's role in curbing terrorism will be crucial because he plans to go tough on Pakistan Govt. He is the re-incarnation of JFK, some may say. Only time will tell whether he lives up to the expectations of the world!

2. CAT is less than 10 days away. Though I have a strategy in place, the percentiles are not encouraging enough. Still I haven't given up. I m mentally prepared to fight the battle till the last day. The other entrances are comparatively easy. I m hoping to clear them at least if not CAT. At times I wonder,' All that I m doing is darkening the ovals, hoping that this darkness will lead me to light!'

3. My mom noticed while combing my hair that the inner strands of my hair had become warm. She said my daughter has suddenly started putting her brain to use. Look how hot it has become by overuse! (Well if u thought i did not know how to comb my hair, let me tell you that i do. But who does not like to be pampered by mommy dearest?)

Y haven't I blogged?

2008-09-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

What could be the reasons for me not blogging?
1. I could be really very busy...(nah! I used to always find time to blog, no matter what)
2. I got bored of it...( Hmmm... worth considering, but i dont think so)
3. I have stopped noticing things around...(this could be one of the reasons)
4. I have turned cold. Nothing touches my heart now...(could be!)
5. I have lost interest in almost everything...(true)

Taarikh pe taarikh!!!

2008-06-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

'You know I m limping now and almost on the verge collapsing. You know why? My left leg just refuses to walk.' Guess says who??? The UPA led Indian Government! Who else?
With the left wing of politics on their side they were not going to do better. I am surprised they came so far. With Mayawati withdrawing her support it's state is worse than ever. What has the government done in these four years? Inflation has crossed 11%. The gap between the rich and the poor widening, the sole purpose of levying taxes has gone down the drains.(What was Mr. Finance Minister aiming at?) The oil prices out of control. (Mr Karat and company wont it be great if you guys pay attention to the rising oil prices instead.) The Manmohan Govt has to leave a good mark before signing off. Hence it is pressing for the nuke deal. Both the Congress and the Left cannot afford elections at this stage, when inflation has reached an all time high. Hence those bunch of cocoons are having loads of meetings(unfruitful as they are!) with the sole motive to buy time. Whose time are u wasting? By deferring judgment on this crucial issue not only will you lose your own credibility(not that you have lots left, but whatever little you have) , but also the credibility of the nation.

The Mute Speaker...

2008-06-18T08:09:00.000-07:00

A short experience somewhere makes you feel blessed. How many times has it happened with you that when you wanted to say something, you just could not express yourself due to lack of words? At least you could speak! Think about the woman I met in the train today. She had the words and yet she was mute. She had so much to talk, but nobody could read her. She could understand what others had to say to her. May be she wasn't deaf or may be she understood the word by the lip movements. May be she wasn't like this before. May be! Though she was a bit different from the others, she tried to make her point come across. I say different because calling her incapable, disabled or abnormal will be an humiliation to her efforts to take her life as it is...

Brandomania!!!

2008-06-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

My friend Anandita tagged me on brands... here I take her tag forward

Coffee:- Bru... bru se hoti hain khushiyan shuru
Coffee house:- CCD (dats d only one I know)
Tea:- Girnar royal cup initially... I think mommy switched to tata taza lately
Milk:- Gokul special and gokul shakti(this one is esp for the curd)
Biscuit:- kya abhi ye bhi bolu? main dudh aur biskut khanewali bachi dikhti hoon?
Paste:- Colgate
Watch:Titan.... I would want to own titan raga one day... haan haan rani mukerjee wala
Floaters: Bata
Pen: Cello Gripper... mast handwriting ke liye must!
Scale: Camlin (bachpan se!)
Search Engine: Apna Google
Mail: Gmail, Yahoo
Messenger: Yahoo, Gtalk
Web Album: Picasa
Cell: Motorola.... 'hello motu' it says to me when I switch it on
Service provider: Airtel... hawa se baatein!
Social Networking Site: chirkut... oops! I mean Orkut
Cycle: Ladybird... Don't remember the last time I rode it!
Mode of transport: Rick(a rare novelty,which is now a necessity), TMT Bus(damn u! u will never improve! u r governed by bunch of rascals!), Central Railways( I love to travel by trains, esp in d rains!)
Movies: Cinemax (I hardly watch any... cable wala zindabad!)
Laptop: Itni amir nahi hoon main!
Digicam: Canon
Lens: Dhapanva hi nahi hai, toh lens kidhar se aayega?
Microwave: Mommy prefers the stove...
Super Market: D Mart... (Our family outing on the 1st sunday of every month)

Anxious eyes...

2008-06-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

Picture this... On a rainy day a 16yr old and a gentleman presumably her father enter a suburban college to inquire about forms for the current academic year. The girl's hands are in her father's. There is some strange kind of emotion in her eyes. It could be a combined expression of joy of being just out of school and the fear of the day when her father will have to let go her hand. She will no more be secured or constantly under a strict vigil of her teachers. She will be free to behave in the way she wants to. She can choose to be impervious to everything around her. A new life awaits her. Or is it a rude shock??? Only time will tell!
Flashback:
Looking back at the journey that began 4 yrs ago and will be soon coming to an end in another 10 months, I wonder what I have achieved. I am not the same kid I was 4 yrs ago. Change is the only thing that remains constant. These 4 yrs gave me the biggest lessons I could have ever got. I faltered and I learnt to mend my mistakes. I fell down and I learnt to pick up the pieces and walk. I saw things I could not change and I learnt to accept them the way they are. I may not have stopped cribbing, but I have definitely learnt to take life cheerfully in its own stride.

Swimming upstream.... red alert!

2008-06-01T07:19:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't started taking swimming lessons now! I know I have put on oodles of weight and I need to put it off...Grr! Chuck it for a while now.
A casual comment by a friend triggered a very abnormal thought, i.e I refuse to be normal. Normal in the sense, like other girls... Btw, when was I? I have always been like this... forever on my toes... forever chasing a dream in this rat[read:cat] race. I am tired now. What am I doing to myself? Am I overdoing things? After falling, slipping on the road and almost fainting twice last week, I have come to a conclusion, that I need a break... Not a physical one, but a mental one. A day free from worries, free from all those thoughts that are cluttering my mind. But can I live without thinking? That's the only activity I do non-stop. I need to take a break though. I can't force my body to the limits just because my brain thinks otherwise. Hence, the title swimming upstream...
And about the extra weight... I ll start working out soon. Dunno when! But soon...

Back to Pavilion

2008-05-12T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Will you put that book away? It's too much now. I 'll come and tear it." I am used to these words now. I have been reading voraciously these days- reading before going to bed, reading when everyone is watching TV or discussing something, reading while waiting for the bus, reading in the bus and if that is not enough reading during my tea break in class. People around me did not take offence to earphones clinging to my ears than they do to a book in my hand. I m turning deaf to things happening around me. I m turning bookish, the way I was a few years back!

Learning to love 'love'

2008-05-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

Does anything called true love really exist? Don't we conveniently disguise our desire as love? How do you decide that a particular person is your prince charming, so that you allow him to sweep you off your feet?(romantic, eh?)Man! I am(was rather) dead practical. I read a book called 'Eleven Minutes' by Paulo Coelho and it has changed my perception of love by a fraction.(I am not fully convinced yet). Though the book is very explicit, it took to me a different world altogether. According to the book man was first a bisexual animal with a different set of sexual organs, with 2 faces and walking on four legs. The animal was sturdy, intelligent and was easily a threat to other living beings as it was independent. Hence to weaken this being the Greek Gods cut the animal into 2 parts and that's how man and woman were born. So one's true love is the other half of your body which exists somewhere in the world. This is only a myth. I wonder, when a husband beats up or insults his wife or vice-a-versa, are they really with their lost halves? Was or is the marriage a total mismatch. My friend once said that when he saw a boy and girl hand in hand, he thought there was a story. The story is not like the one above. It is story of their past, present and future. This story goes beyond physical desires. It is about being there when your soulmate needs you the most. This story does not require words. It is conveyed through the language of eyes- the language of concern, the language of tears. The book says and I quote,'Desire of the soul and not the body is true love.' That's the most apt definition of love, I have ever come across.

A week's slogging complete... another 52 weeks to go!

2008-03-29T23:59:00.000-07:00

After 52 Weeks,
No eyebrow will be raised, if I sleep longer...
No one will stop me from watching TV...
No more exam pressures...
No slogging...
Just 52 weeks to go... just 52...

First Pay Cheque!

2008-03-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

Yipeee!!! Nothing can beat the joy of getting ur first Pay Cheque! Though the amount is not great, it still means a lot to me because it is my first... Got pedas home, while coming back. Parents were happy too.(Mulgi margala lagli types!) Chalo kuch toh shuruvat hui!!!

Looking back... Moving forward

2008-03-23T02:22:00.000-07:00

Next 3 years of my life are crucial. Quite surprisingly, I did not realise it until today. I am awaiting the results of my SYBcom exams. Frankly speaking I have no expectations there. You cannot predict anything with the podar faculty and you dare not! They will set the most difficult commerce papers in the town and when you think you have done enough to crack them, the marks will make you feel meek. Thank Goodness, no more misery of those podar papers now! It felt like treading on Life's banana skins!!! One moment you are held high, the next moment you are smashed down hard on the ground. I have had enough of it in the last 4 yrs. TY coaching starts tomorrow. Looking forward to it. My hard work would count here. I have to pull up my socks and start preparing for CAT too. Next 3 yrs would make or break my life, out of which the entire period of 1 year would be very crucial and nerve-wrecking. I have to sacrifice all those leisure Sundays which I spend dozing like a lazybump! I have to sail through. In short, I m just out of the furnace, but I am stuck up somewhere in the machinery(O Wodehouse...you listening? I love you!). 3 yrs to go to make all that value addition and be turned into that nice final product; to be sold in the job market.

Gosh!!!

2008-03-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

XYZ Aunty: Arre Sharvari... kaisi ho? Kitne dino baad dikhi!
Mom and I nod with a smile
XYZ Aunty: Abhi kya kar rahi ho?
Me: Main abhi TY me gayi.(Shit! I m in TY now! Arre abhi toh SSC diya tha!)
Mom: Aaj hi college jaake apna subject preference deke aayi.(Mom, ye bataneki jarurat thi?)
XYZ Aunty: Acha? Kaunse subject lene waali ho?
Me: Dekhte hain. Preference toh deke aayi hoon.(Ab kya batau? Jo denge woh lena padega. Band baj gayi hai!)
XYZ Aunty: Kitni badi ho gayi ye na abhi. Chotisi thi.(Aunty sab lag bade hote hain). Ekdum abhi alagh dikhti hai.(huh?). Abhi shaadi ho jaayegi aur pata bhi nahi chalega.(Damn! Every conversation has to take this turn!)
Mom(all smiles): Haan...(As if I m already hooked!)

You cant stop time. Time flies by and you still would not notice. You still want to be a kid but for the world you have turned into a grown up. Time changes and so does perception!

Take it Light... Grrrrrrrrrrr!

2008-03-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

"Take it easy!"..."Take rest!"... "You need a well-deserved break."... "Lay back and relax!" Well people have been telling me this since my exams got over, but now I m feeling sick of it. I cannot laze around for more than 2 days. Loneliness, Frustration, Irritation of doing nothing gets to me. I m used to living life in a fast lane. I need a hectic schedule to survive. I need a constant sword dangling over my head. I m not used to such an easy life. Eat, drink, sleep, then get up and again eat, drink, sleep. Not that I wasn't craving for such kind of life a few days back. I admit I was; I really wanted to take rest. But I got bored within 2 days. May be I m missing my cousin, who flew back to states last night. I miss our long chats over irrelevant things. I miss talking to him. Anyway I have taken up reading, which I had stopped for the last 2 months. It is keeping me busy. I can't wait to get back to my hectic life!!!

A crusade of 18 days...

2008-03-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

Last 18 days have been hectic, irritating, saddening... Though I hope they were fruitful...(Dunno will come to know only in mid-april!!!)

24.2.2008 :- Pressure Building up... So much to finish! juggling between Finance and Economics.

25.2.2008 :- Day began with economics(as late as 11.a.m... Thanks to the last night session till 3.a.m). Completed Banking Sector Norms... Still a bit of uneasiness within... Took up Law in the night session(This was my 3rd serious attempt to study law. End-result:-session ends at 1:30... a nice one and half hour before the schedule) Lazybumb!

26.2.2008 :- Took up Economics again... Something unexpected happen. My cousin suddenly came to India.(Had I not told him not to come during my exams??? Grrrrrrrr!). But I have to admit it was a blessing in disguise! The fellow called me up every 4hrs to tell me how he was enjoying. I was jealous, but at the same time the talks relieved the mounting tension. Anyway finished the Indian Money Market.

27.2.2008 :- It was eco, eco and only eco... Pressure building up...

28.2.2008 :- A day before exams... Started with revisions... Could not sleep the whole night...kept tossing my head over the sleepless pillow...

29.2.2008 :- Bang! The D-day... Day starts as early as 5am. Condition worse than a zombie. The first hurdle successfully crossed, but I could have done better. Back home, tried to sleep still could not.

1.3.2008 :- Could not sleep the whole night. Woke up rather early. Astonishingly I was dozing off at d study table; not bcoz i was very much sleep deprived, but the subject i had to do was FC. How I hate to study FC! It is a crappy subject which consists of environment, communicable diseases, scientists, pollution, etc. And I thought I was going to graduate in commerce after a year!

2.3.2008 :- Manged to sleep for 3 hrs in the night. Attended the CAT class. Was surprisingly awake for d RC session. came back home... again slept for an hour or so and then retired to studying FC.

3.3.2008 :- Finally dat FC thing is over. No more FC next year! And yes the paper went well! Much better than it was expected. Finally I was able to catch on some well deserved sleep.

4.3.2008 :- Accounts coming up the next day. I had practised enuf for it, the entire year. yet was going thru everything minutely. Wid podar papers, one cannot afford to take chances. India wins d VB series. Wollah!

5.3.2008:- The paper was a major screw-up! Losing 10 mks comfortably. Thats d figure in my books. Dunno abt the paper corrector's books! Wid law coming up, brooding is unaffordable. Every minute counts...

6.3.2008:- law law law.... i would prefer to be beheaded wid a saw!

7.3.2008:- I understood y co-operatives dont survive in India. The law is so bad!

8.3.2008:- Fill in the blanks in the paper of law? A booty worth 15mks. Almost got all of them(wid options)

9.3.2008:- I love u journalism. I dont have to study answers to write you. I can relax. I really really love u! Cousin came for dinner. Had a gala time! Ended up wid tummy cramps in the night :(

10.3.2008:- I cant understand, what exactly is my problem? I crib when I have to study and I crib when i dont have to.

11.3.2008:- The paper was a cakewalk. 25mks were already in the pocket(thanks to project work)

12.3.2008:- It is really difficult to study bfore the last paper. Still managed to pull it off, but ended up forgetting everything at d end.(one of my very famous exam bloopers... going blank!). That called for another sleepless night!

13.3.2008:- Ah! the paper was easier than expected. Could remember almost everything while writing it. Last paper! khatam. no more misery of podar papers! wah wah! slept like a pig the entire day.

Few things I learnt during this crusade:-
1. I cannot sleep bfore the first paper, no matter how hard I try.
2. No preparation is sufficient for accounts. It is sheer luck.
3. Studying law in advance is a stupidity... It is back to square one when u revise.
4. You cannot study before the last paper, no matter how hard you try!

PS:-My mom has thrown out the jar of pickle. She thinks it is responsible for my frequently recurring tummy cramps. How right she is! Indeed, pickles it is! My life is a pickle.

Gender Bias

2008-01-24T04:14:00.000-08:00

Somethings just don't change!!!
Today we talk about liberation of the girl child. But are we ready to flush the gender bias out of their minds first??? Even if we are, will the people around allow us to do so? My father gets annoyed when he sees Barkha Dutt on television. He says he does not like her. He would prefer Rajdeep Sardesai to her any day. I really dont understand why. She is equally capable. My Mother once quoted about Kiran Bedi, 'She could reach so far because her husband was supportive.' It makes me wonder, why ,in the 21st century too, we still have to depend on males for taking important decisions. 'Girls are not supposed to be ambitious' If she is ambitious, she is tagged to be dominating. I don't understand the connection here. Why aren't we applauded for striking the right balance between family and work? How many husbands help their wives at home? They say doing the household work is degrading, yet they want to know and more importantly they want to criticise whatever is cooked for dinner! When these guys want to marry they would not accept anything less than a girl who has a clean record; irrespective of what they have done in their past lives. Hypocrites!!! In an arrange marriage the girl has no say. She has to do many 'tray holding drills' till she gets 'selected'. As if it is a reality show called 'The Best Possible Girl for The Best Groom on The Earth. Some say getting a girl married is easy, you leave her to her destiny. But getting a boy married is the most difficult task on the earth. What if the 'wrong girl' comes into the family? Yeah yeah... get your girl married and the burden is off your shoulders! One of the reasons why female foeticide and infanticide does not stop. How much ever we talk about doing away with gender bias, we cant. The reason being it is in the Indian mentality. More than the mentality it is deeply rooted in the Indian Patriarchal Society. However I m blessed that my parents have not given me anything less than they have given to my brother. But when I see the society as a whole, the difference still persists.

Dilemma... to do or not to do...

2008-01-22T22:22:00.000-08:00

I am actually clueless now... I have to choose between doing something and not doing something. My heart says do it. My brain says don't. I want to listen to my heart, but cant ignore my brain too. What to do???

Forgive and Forget

2008-01-14T08:33:00.001-08:00

After we lost the Sydney test horribly, India will always be remembered for the right reasons. Today our cricket team took back all the charges against Brad Hogg which obviously gave us an upper hand and the Aussies could do nothing but just watch and acknowledge our gesture. Not that I m a huge follower of Gandhism, but somewhere down the line we Indians know the importance of 'forgive and forget.' When Kumble at the end of the test match said , there was only one team who played the game in a true spirit, he was right... Not only that... That team played the gentleman's game in a true gentleman's style.

Back on Track!

2008-01-11T22:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry my dear blog for not blogging for days... but here I m blogging again. The dreaded 2007 is gone and 2008 has brought in a new ray of hope. I really like the way 2008 has shaped up and I hope this momentum continues. I still remember what mom and my Friends told me... Just hang in there... Don't lose hope and more than that don't lose yourself. Apni toh band baj gayi hai mamu. Pata hai jo bhi hua woh bahut galat hua. Isse bura kya ho sakta hai? Abhi jo hoga acha hoga. So I m back saying... Main apni favourite hoon!!! Ye Jab we Met hangover jara jyaada ho gaya nahi? But wats the problem if it is doing me good?

A sweep! Rap Rap Rapport Rewind!

2007-12-20T05:20:00.000-08:00

Not a clean sweep, but atleast respectable and more importantly lived upto people's expectations... After screwing up the GD royally, our class was still leading thanks to Anandita's classical dance(we had a joker and rapport rewind on it... so dat makes it 6+20 points for one single event) and Antakshiri. Third day literary picked up speed...2nd in marathi creative writing(Nirmohi), 3rd in Hindi elocution(I), 3rd in spell bee(Anandita and I...not had expected even to qualify), 1st in English creative writing(Kushal), 2nd in debate(Hrudyesh and I)...Debate was fun. I did not know what I was talking, just went on and on to realise there was a thud thud sound of clapping; which made me feel I was right on track. I m not satisfied with my performance tho, could have done better. Anyways, all well dat ends well!

P.S. We also one the social skit which we went and did on the spot!

A change of scenario...

2007-12-14T23:04:00.000-08:00

Just a few days before, I was happy december was here, but not anymore. I longed for d college fest to start, but not anymore. As it is approaching, a simple feelin of boredom is creeping in. A classic example how everything changes in a jiffy.This reaction may have been triggered by a particular event that happened last week and that mebbe the reason why I have lost interest in almost everything. Or mebbe it is just a general feeling of boredom! Mebbe it is just a phase of my life. I hope it fades away soon. I want to b chirpy as I was earlier. I want to yap, I want to blabber non-stop...

Has it happened with you?

2007-12-11T04:26:00.000-08:00

Has it happened with you?

You want to do something and you end up doing the opposite.
You want to fight back but you have no clue how to go about it.
You want to fly but your wings have been cut off.
You want to express yourself but you don't have words to do so or there isn't anybody around to give u patient ear.
You want to scream at the top of your voice but you are not permitted to do so.
You are feeling suffocated in a particular environment but you don't have the courage to break free.

Smacked down hard on the ground...

2007-12-09T03:13:00.000-08:00

Just when you feel you are going good and something happens and there you are 'smacked hard on the ground'. I am really low on confidence. My mom and friends tell me that I am taking things too drastically. Mebbe I am! But I refuse to accept whatever has happened. It is not my mistake and I will prove it. I will not retire till I give a fight back. There is only one thing that is keeping me going now, 'People who care for me, love me have not given up on me. So I will not give up on myself.' But one thing I cant promise. I cant be the same chirpy self I was a week ago. That would be too much to expect...

Kyun??? Kyun???

2007-12-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

In my last blog I said I love the month december. I wish I knew it could also be called as 'dicey december'.On Friday our class results will be out. This time our parents have been called to the college(for the first time in the history of podar!) to collect our results. Why? Why? And to add to the misery there is this feeling of helplessness. You feel like a puppet when u see the amount of politics and corruption around.(ppl of podar would know what i am talking abt.)
Friday is the D day for us. Aaar ya Paar situation. Sita maiiya (Sita Ramanan-our coll principal) is going to do our Chir-Haran... On the same day there is this prestigious elocution competition in the college. I want to participate. But I m faced with these mixed feelings. The result thing is sinking in and I cannot concentrate on anything else.
Just asking one question.... KYUN???

Yeah baby... December is here!

2007-12-03T08:20:00.000-08:00

December, December, December!
Time for more wonders!
I love this month... Inspite of being the last month of the year, I love december for the fact there is so much of fun and frolic around. It feels great to spend nice chilly mornings in the company of friends and yes also wid the tapri cutting chai. Colleges celebrate different days... rose day, saree day, tie day, chocolate day, blah blah and also not to forget the action packed intra college fest that our college organises for us at the end of the month. And ...like the icing on the cake my cousins are coming to India from US for a visit after 2-3 long years. Dying to meet them.........

Sick of complaining now!

2007-11-30T08:52:00.000-08:00

Since the past one week I m trying to renew my net account, but somehow its not happening. When u book a renewal pack , how happily these call centre ppl tell u,"Mam, ur pack will reach u in 48 hrs." Forget 48 hrs, it reached me after 144 hrs... Now thats a bit too much! Wait wait the misery does not end here. When u try to renew ur account, the pin no is faulty...Phbbt! Seriously I have lost the patience now. Trying my level best. I dunno when i will b able to login now. Tired of complaining again again!!! Grrrrrrrrr!

Such a party booper... sharvari!

2007-11-29T08:25:00.000-08:00

Saturday is saree day and rose day in college and party booper sharvari is not going... Why??? I dunno! Mebbe I have lost interest or mebbe I m just palying one lazybump... yeah yeah wear pointed heels, saree and travel like that in the suburban local train and then come back home in that dreaded TMT bus... At the end of the day if your legs dont hurt then tell me... Phbbt!

Two fat ladies...88

2007-11-20T23:20:00.000-08:00

I simply cant get past this figure no matter what I do. SSC it was 88%, HSC 87% and now my ZDfB(5th level german exam at mas muellers) report card says 88%. I missed the magical 90 by 4 marks. Hmmm... not fair!!! Mebbe I m not good enuf... Mebbe I need to work harder... but how much??? Thats my question

Belling the cat on the birthday eve of a mouse...

2007-11-17T03:13:00.000-08:00

Confused??? Wondering whose birhtday it is? Tommorrow i.e. 18th November is Mickey Mouse's Birthday. Happy birthday Mickey Mouse!
Still wondering where does the cat come from? Ahh!
Well tomorrow lakhs of mice (MBA asirants) will take on the mighty CAT. I call them mice coz this baap of all entrance exams has given, is giving and will give a lot of MBA inspirants nightmares. Only a few thousands will be able the bell the cat.What a way to celebrate the most darling mouse's birthday! phew!!!

First gear is always difficult...

2007-11-15T08:04:00.000-08:00

It has been 15 days since I am learning how to drive, but how much ever I try I cant possibly get it right. The most difficult part is getting started with the first gear. Initially I did not know at what point to hold the clutch and at what time to release it. I used to curse the makers for putting that clutch there. A car only with the brakes and accelerator would be just fine. But alas!!! Things don't function as we want them to. They often change our mode of functioning. And as it is said, 'No matter what you do taking the first step towards anything is going to be difficult.' This might explain why the first gear is not so easy as it seems. The key lies in never giving up or getting deterred inspite of the repeated setbacks. Just keep going and counter all the hindrances with the same zest and enthusiasm as you had for the first obstacle and one day you will sail smoothly.

Ok!!!Enough of pravachan!
I hope I sail smoothly...(i mean) ride safely. Actually I should! There is no charm or thrill in doing things if they are easy.

Where dogs piss, people find the same place to kiss???

2007-11-13T05:50:00.000-08:00

eeeeeeeeeeks!!!
I had been to this place called upwan lake wid 2 of my friends for a walk and we could see only 3 things.
First... the lake which was heavily polluted wid all sorts of kachra.
Second...dogs pissing under the tree.
And third... Love birds sitting under the trees(the same ones which i assume had been visited by dogs earlier) and getting cozy wid each other.

heeeheeeheeeheee! thats when we came up wid the one liner... Where dogs piss, ppl find the same place to kiss!

Gali, Gali, Deepawali aai re...

2007-11-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

Here comes the most awaited festival of the year...Diwali. Diwali along with it brings loads of happiness and prosperity. People forget their egos and exchange sweets and delicacies. Doorsteps are decorated with rangoli and you can see the auspicious diya everywhere(as Diwali rightly means a row of lights). But one thing I don't really like about the festival is crackers. They pollute the atmosphere and are very harmful. How many of us actually know that the cracker industry employs small children. These children then develop skin ailments and even tuberculosis in worst cases. Yet we the privileged ones anxiously wait everywhere to burst these crackers. Anyways some people might think that I am being pathetically senti. But thats Indian mentality, isn't it? Having fun at the cost of others!

Anyways... Wishing my near and dear ones a happy and prosperous diwali!

My nose hurts, but does not bleed...

2007-11-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

Ouchhh! Get your nose pierced and u would know! It is quite painful when that nose ring is inserted through your skin into your nose. People watchimg me thought i would cry in pain, but hey... Sharvari is a strong girl. she does not cry so easily. Tears did roll down my cheeks when it was beong done. But thats all! No screaming... No crying... Hehehehe!
It is painful and it still hurts. I Have almost turned nauseatic towards the smell of coconut oil after applying it around my nose for days.
Anyways! It is worth the trouble! Thats all I can say...

Jab se tere Naina...

2007-10-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

Ahhh!!! Ranbir Kapoor... The new kid on the block... Quite an hottie!!!

Nasheebach pandu tar konashi konashi mhanun bhandu!

2007-10-25T00:06:00.000-07:00

Just a few questions...
They say,"Truth always triumphs." Does it really? If it does, then why do dishonest people succeed?
They say,"The fruits of hardwork are sweet." Yeah! Yeah! By the time we taste the fruits of hardwork, we have already gulped down the sourness of life.
They say,"Do your best and leave the rest to God." If so, why do we always have to struggle even after working hard?
Now my final question...
Who are these 'they' who have put forward so many things, which can be easily contradicted?

Who cares?

2007-10-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Kareena ditched Shaheed... ok fine, then?
Rakhee Sawant was once married... oooook, then?
Who cares!!!
We say, "Who cares? What do I got to do with it?" Yet we all like fools open the entertainment section first when we open the newspaper... why?
Are we really interested in such type of news? Or is it due to the media hype, we quite unknowingly open this section?

Tension, Tension... 15rupiyya

2007-10-22T09:35:00.000-07:00

For the first time I heard this, I did not believe my ears. Everyone wants to get rid of our tensions. But selling tension? Who would want to buy tension? Can tension be easily transferred from one person to another? Can one get rid of one's tensions and worries permanently? Is it so easy?
Questions! Questions! and only Questions! My head had already begun spinning. Then I strained my ears and looked in the direction of the sound.It was a rickshawwala calling for passengers going towards station. He meant to say station but was pronouncing it as tension. I laughed at my own flight of imagination and walked ahead... But this is part of life, isn't it? The opposite person wants to say something and u understand something else... Hmmm!!!

How much of fiction!

2007-10-21T05:28:00.001-07:00

On one sunday morning u pick up the newspaper and read on the front page,' Potter Principal is Gay'... And you wonder,"Huh! Whats that got to do with news?" Yeah Yeah! Today anything and everything can make news. The author of the series even goes on to explain why the character is so. Not that I have a deep grudge against the author, but I m amused about the amount of speculation that goes in the sexual orientation of a fiction character!
Ofcourse hats off to the creativity of the author! She really knows how to bring her characters alive...

Tutoring your younger sibbling!

2007-10-21T05:21:00.000-07:00

Well guys... If u are done with your exams and nothing substantial to do and your brother's exam is still pending, tutoring him is an option.(Dicey one tho!)
The pre-requisits required:-

You have to be patient... dats the key coz the doubts dat come ur way! OMG!
You have to be smart. (ofcourse u cant be his teacher if u r dumb-headed)
You have to be a taskmaster.(esp when ur brother is lazy)
You have to be prepared for one hell of an experience.

All in all the experience is good for the fact the amount of faith and trust your sibbling puts in you and nothing can beat the happiness you derive from his success!

Mere dozen bhar usool!!!

2007-10-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

I m being told to shed my inhibitions and conceptions... Inhibitions yes... they have been done away wid long back... Conceptions as in mere so called dozen bhar usool... nah!!! It makes me what I m today... If I change my whole conception of myself will change and along with that many things. Conceptions are not bad as long as they are not preceptions. And there is something that I owe to my so called usools and that is my life. They keep me going no matter how difficult the circumstances are. They make me feel safe. In their presence I feel I m not going to falter or go wrong. They equip me to think practically.
Hell!!! Not that I really need to explain all this... Whatever!!! People love me the way I am.

Freedom leads to Boredom

2007-10-19T02:40:00.000-07:00

Woooo!!! Writing a blog after months now... Finally! Exams over... yeah baby!!! Done with german... and now what? Free bird??? In a way yes... I can spend the whole day sleeping, watching TVand blah blah... How much can u laze around? Especially when u are used to running around here and there. People tell me to take it easy. Cut down on my activities. But thats the way I m... A Busy Bee...
U must be thinking... she can anyway chill out wid friends... Well, pause there! I tell u, in certain cases one cannot, esp when your friends are doing CA( ARghhhh!!!)

It is pink pyajamas flying high at the red fort, now!

2007-07-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

Finally we got our first lady president, after 60 years of Independence... Sad!!! We never had a lady prez earlier. Anyways, better late then never!!! Now we have a women who will be the commander-in-chief of the army, navy and air-force. lolzzz. Women were never allowed to hold higher posts in the army, navy and air-force!!! And looking at the recent scenario where Kiran Bedi was denied the delhi chief post, it wont change so soon...I hope our "Rajyaadhyaksha" (dats wat she will be addressed as) Mrs Pratibha Patil, will change it...
I m happy abt all this; but what worries me the most that Prathibha Patil might just turn out to be merely a nodding automation.
It was sad to see Prez Kalam leave. He really raised the bar of Indian Presidents. The nations loss is the gain of a few college students, whom Prez Kalam is going to teach... I know he is no more the President of The Indian Sovereign... but he is still the People's President...

FIRST DAY OF SYBCOM!

2007-06-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

Finally 15th of june, 2007 has gone by... and Sharvari had her first day in SY
Well how was it???
Errrrrrrr!!! Good in way! And bad too!
Sharvari started early in the morning at 6am... Reached matunga at 7:15... Saw Nirmohi( dats my best friend, for ppl who dunno) after ages... When we went to check our roll nos and time table, we found out, that the first lecture was free... Whoaaa!!! What a way to start a new year... a free lecture!!! Well teachers came and went... And Yeah!!! That Gujju(Vice-Principal) is going to teach us again this year... No no! Not EVS but a fantastic subject called FC; a subject which contains topics like emergence a science, discovery of wheel, blah, blah blah! And yes how could I forget! It also contains topics like Biotecnology, Laser technology, Atomic energy, etc and also contains contribution of various Indian scientists(excluding Dr. A.P.J.Kalam)... Silly me! Till date I was thinking, my stream was COMMERCE!!!

TECHNIK-Ein Segen oder Fluch?

2007-06-04T08:59:00.001-07:00

Wer hätte sich vorgestellt, dass ein tag käme, wenn man wie ein Vogel fliegen könnte oder die Erde vom Weltraum schauen könnte? Dank der Technik sind viele menschliche Träume in Erfüllung gegangen. In den letzten Jahren hat die Welt Zeugnis über verschiedene außerodentliche Erfindungen.
Es ist allgemein bekannt dass, die Technik derMenscheit einen großen Dienst, besonderes Medizin. Die arztliche Wissenschaft hat sich entwickelt. Es besteht einen Hoffnungsstrahl für die unheilbaren Patienten. Technik spielt eine große Rolle in der Ausrottung ger Epidemien.
Nicht nur in der Medizin sondern in jede Sphäre unsere Lebens durchdringt die Technik. Die Industrierevolution war ein Katalysator für die Fortschritt der Technik. Sie hat unser tägliches Leben erleichtert. Zurzeit können wir uns das Leben ohne eine Waschmachine, einen Computer, Fernseher oder Staubsauger einfach nicht vorstellen. Die Waren werden im Massenmengen und im Nu produziert. Darum kosten sie günstig. Eine Welt ohne Grenzen ist jetzt eine Realität, wo alle Leute zugänglich geworden sind. Per Mausklick steht die weltweite Infomationen augenblicklich zur Verfügung. In den Schulen und Universitäten auch ist die technik behilflich, womit die Studenten noch besser und schneller lernen können. Man muss auch nicht vergessen, dass die Technik viele Wunder in der Landwirtschaft gewirkt hat.
Jede Münze hat zwei Seiten. Technik ist ein zwei schneidiges Schwert. An sich ist die Technik weder ein Segen noch ein Fluch. Alles hängt von der Benutzung ab. Die Technik schöpft, aber sie zestört auch. Wer könnte das wahllose Gemetzel vergessen, das in Hiroshima und Nagasaki passiert ist? Es ist bedauerlich, dass die besten wissenschaftlichen Gehirne der Welt miteinander in Wettstreit liegen. Industrialle Entwicklungen hat sich so verschelchtert, dass veile Arten von Tieren und Baümen laufen die Gefahr, total auszusterben. Die Entwaldung, globale Erwärmung, Wetterschwankung sind Nebenwirkungen von der Technik. Das größte Wunder der zwanzigsten Jahrhundert, nämlich der Computer, hat eine Schattenseite: Der Computer kann psysich abhängig machen. Wissenschaftler forschen an neuen Krankheitsbildern, ählich dem Alkoholismus und Spielsucht.
Vielleicht versucht man durch diese technische Entwicklung lungen Gott zu spielen. Aber man sollte nie vergessen, er eigentlich die Macht besizt- die Natur. Immer wieder wird es bewiesen das Natur kontrolliert alles.
Damit wir die positiven Wirkungen die Vorteile der technischen Entwicklungen genießen können, ist es ein Mus, dass wir der technik Grenzen setzen und selbst verantwortungsbewusster und reifer werden... ABER SIND WIR DAZU BEREIT?

--- Rashmi, Rohan, Abhishek, Bhakti and Sharvari
(und ja! Helen hat diesen Aufsatz kontrolliert und verbessert)

Think abt it!!!

2007-05-17T11:09:00.000-07:00

What is more important in a life of an 18 year old?
LOVE or CAREER?
I always have thought that career is more important in a life a student. There are so many untread and seemingly green pastures one can see at this age. There is so much to explore and enjoy. And in todays cut-throat competition u need to be the best to survive.... And when there is so much to do, when does one have time for this going around stuff, which we today term as love... Is it love or mere infactuations? Do these relationships last long? What is the right time for all this? I have always believed, that once you hav a good career, everything else follows...
What's the validity of my last statement???

Am I Changing?

2007-04-29T04:41:00.000-07:00

At times we behave, that is so unlike us... I am actually amused with myself. Nowadays I prefer to keep quiet. I dont talk, unless I am asked something. My world revolves around me. But u know what? I m enjoying my every piece of solitude. This is so unlike the talkitive lot, to which I belong! Even if anything goes wrong, I dont feel like weeping. But one thing! Though other things might have changed, I have not stopped doing the too much thinking, I do... Anyways!!! Have I become tougher? Do things and perspectives change with time? Am I changing? Or it is just the time that has changed? I am still toying with these questions...

2007-04-28T09:10:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time...

I had a dream...

It was different, quite unlike the herd...

A path so untread, yet it was so treadible...

With focus, persevarance, courage and my belief in me...

I decided to pursue it...

No sooner I fell and failed

and again failed...

and again...

The path that seemed so crystal clear,

started becoming blur day by day...

I lost confidance in my abilities...

But then...

I worked...

Still worked...

Put all my guts and grit together...

And suddenly...

I stumbled upon success...

And again...

My efforts bore fruit...

And i realised SUCCESS IS NOT A DESTINATION, IT IS A JOURNEY...JOURNEY OF A LIFE-TIMEAND YOUR DREAMS ARE NEVER ENDING....